The Torah portion Vayigash opens with a moving and dramatic description of Joseph revealing himself to his brothers after many long years during which they did not know what had become of him and concealed from their father the painful act of having sold him. The Torah describes at length the brothers’ shame at the moment of revelation, and Joseph’s nobility as he comforts them and makes clear that everything that occurred was decreed by God so that he would be able to help them during the years of famine in the Land of Israel.
This news quickly reaches their father, Jacob, who for many years believed that his beloved son was dead. The Torah describes the emotional upheaval, the sharp transition from deep sorrow to astonishment and joy, when Jacob discovers that Joseph is alive and even holds a senior position in Egypt. Jacob and his household gather their possessions and descend to Egypt, a process described in Jewish sources as part of a deliberate historical course that would ultimately lead to the exodus from Egypt and the formation of the Jewish nation.
Word of the exceptional event spreads rapidly and reaches Pharaoh: Jacob, the father of Joseph the ruler, has arrived in Egypt together with his family and wants to settle in the land of Goshen. Pharaoh hears this and authorizes Joseph to settle them there. A rare encounter then takes place between our patriarch Jacob and Pharaoh, ruler of Egypt and symbol of idolatrous culture.
The Torah describes this unusual meeting: “And Pharaoh said to Jacob, ‘How many are the days of the years of your life?’ And Jacob said to Pharaoh, ‘The days of the years of my sojourning are 130 years; few and difficult have been the days of the years of my life, and they have not reached the days of the years of the lives of my fathers in the days of their sojourning’” (Genesis 47:8-9).
Pharaoh is the greatest opponent of the one God and of the Jewish worldview. He conducts himself as a god and negates all spiritual influence. And here before him stands the greatest symbol of the Jewish faith, the father of the nation, from whom the 12 tribes of Israel emerged.
Pharaoh was certainly very curious to understand who Jacob was and become acquainted with his worldview. Why, then, is the first thing he asks him: “How old are you?” Is this merely a polite question? He could just as easily have asked Joseph this before the meeting.
Surprising words from the midrash
To understand all this, we must examine the surprising words of the midrash: “When Jacob said, ‘Few and difficult have been [the days],’ the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: ‘I delivered you from Esau and from Laban, I restored Dinah to you, and Joseph as well, and yet you complain about your life that it has been few and difficult?
‘By your life, the number of words from ‘And Pharaoh said’ until ‘in the days of my sojourning’ – so many years will be deducted from your life so that you will not live as long as your father, Isaac.‘ And they are 33 words, and by this number they were deducted from his life. For Isaac lived 180 years, while Jacob lived only 147” (Da’at Zekenim of the Tosafists, on Genesis 47:8).
These words teach that Jacob did not act properly when he complained to Pharaoh about his difficult life, and he was even punished by a shortening of his years. There is no point in extending the days of those who do not know how to appreciate the good in their lives, since in their view everything is bad, and they find no meaning in their lives. These words are indeed sharp, but such is the standard applied to the righteous: They are judged with precision.
Yet this is perplexing: Why was Jacob punished according to the number of words beginning with “And Pharaoh said”? These are Pharaoh’s words; why should they be counted against Jacob? Even if it were indeed fitting that he be punished for complaining about his life and about what the Holy One blessed be He had granted him, logic would suggest counting only from the beginning of his own words – that is, from “And Jacob said.”
The explanation is that Jacob did not appear before Pharaoh with the bearing of a man who rejoices in his lot and lovingly accepts his life. Rather, his face reflected deep sorrow and excessive aging.
Had his face been radiant, his posture upright and composed, and his body language conveying vitality, Pharaoh would not have thought to open the conversation with a question about his age. Such a question is neither routine nor polite as an opening remark. Jacob’s appearance is what led Pharaoh to ask the question; therefore, Pharaoh’s words are included in the calculation as well.
All people, especially those who represent a truth or a spiritual path, bear responsibility for how they present themselves and for the message they convey. When one’s physical appearance and manner of speech convey complaint, despair, and self-pity, it is difficult to believe that he represents truth. But when a person radiates positivity, a pleasant countenance, and gratitude, he inspires and draws others closer to his path.
Therefore, one should adopt a positive approach, greet others warmly, express gratitude, and focus on the good in life. This approach affects our appearance, influences how others relate to us, and may even add vitality. One who represents the path of God in the world must convey the privilege and joy inherent in it, and by doing so, sanctify God’s name.
The writer is the rabbi of the Western Wall and holy sites.